What I Learned as a Mom in 2021

2021 was one of those years you’d like to really remember but might block out of your memory.  It’ll be known as the year after 2020.  It’s a weird time to be a mom, and just a weird time to be a human.  Here’s what I learned as a mom this year.

Say No

I’m pretty good at resting at home, taking time for myself, and not overloading with activities.  But saying no meant something different this year.  Sometimes it meant you were taking a stance on a political belief or sometimes it meant you were afraid of something.  

I had to learn to say no for myself, my child and my family. 

I’m understanding as a mom, you’re the one who has to make the hard decisions for my family that can sometimes make me look like the bad guy.  I’m SLOWLY gaining a thicker skin and finding my voice as a mom.

Find the Joy

I worked in a daycare for about 5 years and learned that being silly is key to getting through the day with 12 toddlers.  The more I let loose and don’t care about making a fool of myself, the more fun I have with Violet.  Some days I find every opportunity to make her laugh.  It not only makes the days go faster but it makes motherhood more of an opportunity than a chore.

I know every mom’s advice is “cherish this time… you’ll miss it one day” and I’m honestly taking that in as much as I can. 

The days are long but the years are short.  (Isn’t that how that goes?)  I’m finding joy in the slow meal times, the learning new skills, the 10th time reading a book.

Patience

And along with that is never ending patience.  Don’t you wish there was a button for that?  We just celebrated Christmas and watching a one year old open presents by herself requires restraint on my part!

Patience isn’t just waiting for your child to put their shoes on or figure out how to open a box.  It’s more along the lines of letting them learn something on their own, keep trying over and over, making mistakes and letting it go.

Toddlers love to dump toys, throw food, and scream for no reason.  If I focus on only the negative I’m never going to survive this thing!  If I see it as her exploring, communicating, and learning then I can have more patience on how a young brain is figuring things out. 

It’s Not All Glamorous 

Sometimes you stay at home all day and no one gets out of pajamas and you eat cereal all day.  Some days you do your own hair and your daughter’s hair, put on pants, get groceries, go to the zoo, see friends, take a long nap, make no messes, and clean the house.

I know saying “it’s not all glamorous” would feel like a given but once you get in that comparison trap it’s hard to get out.  You see friends on Facebook who look like they have it all together or random people on Instagram who make it look so easy.  But they people on Facebook only show you the good stuff and the people on Instagram have food deliveries, and house keepers, and nannies.

I just have to remind myself not everything is a filter-filled Instagram story set to music.

Sometimes living in the moment, setting down your phone, and not changing out of your pajamas is the best thing you can do as a mom.  Don’t leave the house, don’t organize your pantry, don’t bake 12 pies, and don’t compare yourself to what everyone else is doing.

I hope this past year has brought you learning moments, joy, fun experiences, and great family time!  I pray your 2022 is even better!