I worked at a daycare for about 5 years and boy oh boy did that help me prepare for motherhood. Mainly I was in the young toddler room and now that my babe is a toddler I am in my ELEMENT! But there are so many little tidbits I’m applying now as a mom that I never knew would help me out so much. Here are 14 things I learned working at a daycare that help me be a better mom.
1. Positive words
I know it’s very important to encourage kids to be their best and talk to them in a way that let’s them know they’re doing a job well done. But what I learned working at a daycare is true positive reinforcement that doesn’t reflect back to me.
For example: When Violet builds a block tower or does a puzzle I like to tell her “You did it!” or “Wow” instead of “good job”. When I tell her “good job” or “I’m so proud of you” that still makes it seem like she wants to do a good job for me and not for herself.
NOW please don’t get me wrong, I absolutely still use those phrases because I’m a human being and I think it’s great to say those! But sometimes I stop myself and and see how me telling her “you did it!” makes her feel like she accomplished something.
2. Treating kids equally by treating them differently
Seems like an oxymoron right? It was so hard not to lump all 12 toddlers in my classroom into one category when you’re trying to plan the day. I really had to focus on everyone and everything all at the same time.
Not including the different food allergies, sunscreen, diaper schedules, and all the things that kids need, there were so many things that they needed I had to learn to adapt to each child. There were some kids that specifically needed time to wave bye to parents out the window each morning and sometimes time to calm down after they left.
When I was focusing on that child 1 on 1 I couldn’t think “oh I’m completely neglecting the other 3 kids in my small group”. Just like older kids all have different learning styles, toddlers and babies have different levels of needs and adapting doesn’t look the same for each one.
3. Getting on the floor
…can be the most important thing you do! Sounds so simple but it’s so effective! One thing the daycare really stressed was you were never standing around looking down at the littles. Sit on the floor and get on their level.
Have you ever seen an adult sitting on the floor with bunch of kids? They either have 4 kids in their lap or they’ve been handed all of the toys! Sometimes you don’t even have to do or say much while you’re on the floor, you just have to be at their level and interact.
Sometimes when Violet is having a cranky day and nothing seems to cheer her up I just lay or sit on the floor and something switches. I’m barely playing with her but it makes such a difference to her!
4. Patience
No kidding right? But there’s two specific things about patience I learned at the daycare: waiting to help and waiting to speak.
Waiting to help is so hard as a fully capable adult who can easily open the ziplock baggie in a blink of an eye. I’ve learned to wait and see what she can do and help when she asks for help. IT’S SO HARD. And goodness knows I don’t always wait. Sometimes you gotta get things moving and it’s time for mommy to do.
Waiting to speak might even be more difficult for some. I love to tell Violet what she is doing (habit of when she was a baby) “you’re playing with a ball, can you throw that ball, that ball is blue, is that a big ball?, that ball can bounce”. BUT as amazing as it is to chat their little ears off because how else are they going to learn language?! It’s equally as important to keep quiet.
Seeing what Violet says and remembers and learns when I don’t say anything and just observe is incredible. She counted to 7 by HERSELF yesterday! I was blown away.
5. Scheduling vs not scheduling
I’ll have to admit I was a strict scheduler from the beginning. Violet quickly got on a eating and sleeping schedule.
At the daycare we normally had a set plan for the day that wrapped around potty breaks and lunch and all that but we tried to keep to a plan that helped the kids know what was coming next. Kids honestly thrive off of a little scheduling.
With that being said it’s great to break off the schedule when needed. Girl didn’t sleep, ok the rest of the day is adjusted. Kids need to run around and are overstimulated, let’s go walk to the park instead of coloring today. It’s hard for little organized me to break the “rules” per say but it’s so great for me to learn this flexibility.
It’s all about finding that balance.
6. Finding those important moments
There are two times during the day I learned were crucial at the daycare to bond with these little toddlers: diaper changes and meal times.
Diaper changes were some of my favorite parts of the day which sounds CRAZY I know but think about it. Your child has nothing to do but look at you and you have that one on one time. You gain that trust of gently changing their diaper or helping them use the potty and lock eyes and be a part of their little world.
Meal times are so important! At the daycare we had these tiny tables and chairs these kiddos would sit at and us adults would cram our big booties onto the little chairs or sit on the floor and be a part of their meal, family style. Yes you clean up spills and get completely sticky every day but you get to see their eating skills develop, talk about what you’ve done in the day, be right there if they’re frustrated or loving their meal.
Meal time is so frustrating at my house with a throwing-food toddler currently and it’s chaotic sometimes when you add a few more kids to the bunch. It’s so hard when you don’t know what they want to eat, have to cut up every bite that they just toss against the wall anyway or they fight you on everything.
But think of now where all your fondest memories revolved around food. It’s going to become a habit and you’re going to look back (and so are they) and remember that one day. They’re not going to remember the toddler throwing stage lol but they’ll eventually remember the love and care you took to sit down with them at a meal.
7. Being silly
It’s hard to break out of your adult shell of repressing your silliness for so long! We have unlearned how to make fart noises and wave our arms around in the air and act like monkeys.
At the daycare I threw my inhibitions out the window even if the other grown ups didn’t! I forced myself to be as crazy as needed to make those kids laugh and to fill our day with happy memories.
As a mom I’ve learned that those are the best moments. You know how many times a day I dance to Encanto or I make elephant noises or I prepare a fake sandwich and chew as loudly as I can? It’s in those moments I see Violet watching me with wide eyes and a growing smile and it shows me that these are the moments that matter. She’s learning and gaining an amazing personality because I act like a fool every day.
I would like to add too that it’s not only for her benefit but also mine. When I get up and dance and let loose, my serotonin goes way up! A little movement, a little laughing at myself boosts my mood and helps get through the monotony of the day as a stay at home mom.
8. When in doubt turn on some music
I cannot stress this enough. If we couldn’t play some Disney music or some Baby Shark at the daycare our day would be over. The whole mood would shift in the room. Even the kids not dancing or singing would watch those other kids having a good time and all would be well again.
Speaking of dancing before, that’s like half my day now. It’s a magic switch that you can hit that livens your space and distracts from any sadness. This applies to kidlets and adults! Turn on some music and turn your day around.
9. The messes are worth it
I might regret saying this but it’s true. I definitely did a lot more sensory table things with rice and sand and water tables and all that at the daycare but kids eat that stuff up. (literally and figuratively you’ve gotta be careful) It was nice because we worked as a team to clean up and supervise but watching kids freely play like that is like nothing else!
The sandbox mess, the sticky bubble aftermath, the chalk butt pants…it’s so worth it knowing they are having the time of their lives. Messes are so hard because I’m the mom now and I am the only responsible for the aftermath but this is Violet’s childhood and I want those core memories to be awesome and messy.
10. Books hold more power than you think
Violet has always loved books. She used to sit for almost an hour every morning and pull out book after book and turn the pages with her tiny hands and “read”. It’s so cool watching a kid have a joy for reading before they can even read. Exploring pictures and identifying animals and letters is so important to the reading process.
At the daycare we would have quiet reading time, a morning story time, and just free time where certain kids would flock to the books. But when you sit down and read a book to a child they will want you to read it over and over or keep grabbing more books. It’s not only a great connection point for you but you can almost see the gears turning in their little minds of how much they’re absorbing.
Lots of patience comes in here too. Let your kid explore each page until they’re ready to turn it. I found this is the best way to have them lead it and take in everything they want to on each page.
11. Offer that hug even if you’re the one they’re mad at
Baby temper tantrums can be so frustrating because they can be caused by the wrong color cup, they ate all of their food, or the dog is playing with his own toy… Tell me you’ve been there! But you’ve gotta laugh and get through them because these sweet little souls don’t even know how hard life is yet.
That’s why even if you’re the one they’re mad at, offer that hug. They might hate mommy but also all they want is mommy. A hug just cures so many things too. Even as an adult I just need a hug sometimes and my tension flies away from my shoulders.
12. Being still is not always the right thing to do
This kind of goes along with every kid has different needs but it’s so hard as grown ups to want everything in its place and for that kid to just SIT STILL. Please sit while we are eating. Wait right next to mom in the store. No we can’t get out of the stroller right now.
There are so many scenarios that these statements are 100% correct for safety and overall parent reasons. But in other cases (when you’ve got the time) why not let them bounce in their seat at dinner? Why not let them run and explore a little on a long walk?
Kids need their wiggles out and that doesn’t always limit it to once a day playing on the swing set. Some kids really need to stand and jump to eat or use a yoga ball at their desk or gave a fidget toy in the car. I would love to have the energy as a kids do but also it sounds a little bit exhausting.
I’m still learning this one because it’s hard for me to let go of that control. I hope I remember this as Violet gets older and there are different challenges to overcome.
13. I can get through any gross thing
If you’ve worked at a daycare you have an entire building of children who have been disgusting at one point and you’ve had to clean so much of it up.
Story time: once a girl pooped up her back and it leaked through to my shirt because I was holding her and then it got all in her hair and the floor and everywhere when I tried to change her. I had to go home and shower during my break that day. So fun.
But circumstances like that when it was my job and I had to power through has made some explosions at my house look like a dream. Messes are messy and vomit happens. If I could get through labor with the mindset: once this is done it’s done then I can get through anything. Nothing is forever and that’s what baby wipes are for.
Bonus: it helps if you have a dog. Sounds gross segueing after talking about vomit but I mean with meal time floor clean up. Winston really comes in handy sometimes!
14. Everything is worth it at the end of the day
Even though working at the daycare was the hardest job I’ve ever had and I’m still not sure how I lasted 5 years there, it was so rewarding seeing those kids learn and grow. You are helping to shape their childhood and so many basic skills that how can you not be validated by the end of the day?
Violet has taught me so much about myself and everyone would tell me it’s so different when you have your own kid and I’m finding out that’s SO TRUE. I’m able to teach and parent her in the way I want to and I’m still figuring that out day by day.
Now motherhood is the hardest job I’ve ever had but watching my sweet girl count to 7 and recognize when someone is sad and learn how to use a fork and take care of her little baby doll makes me so proud my heart could explode.
Those were some tough years working at the daycare but I wouldn’t trade them for anything because they’ve made me the mom I am today. I’m proud of the mom I’m becoming and grateful that I still have so much left to learn. Honestly I’ve always said I wish motherhood came with a tell-all handbook but it’s not that easy. I know now I have to go through it to become what I’m becoming and I’m so glad.
Thanks daycare for teaching me all the dos and don’ts and for giving me some skills to set me on the track for my dream job: being a mom.
