You can never really prepare for a NICU stay no matter how much you try. You can get advice from anyone who’s been there, help from nurses, or do dangerous searches online. But really you can’t prep for that stay that’s ahead of you.
We had a 78 day stay ourselves with our son. I could get into the whole story but know that it was a long and difficult journey and we couldn’t have survived with the tremendous support system backing us up. That’s why I wanted to compile a list of things that people gave us that were actually extremely helpful.
We constantly had people asking us what they could do to help and I have some things you can throw out if you’re looking for something to say. Or if you stumbled upon this post trying to help a NICU parent out you are already an amazing friend!
I’ve come up with 10 basic things that could help a mom going through her NICU journey specifically. These items were very useful to me in a practical way. I was given so many generous gifts but these were the most helpful things.
I only recommend products I would use myself and all opinions expressed here are our own. This post may contain affiliate links that at no additional cost to you, I may earn a small commission.
1 – Starbucks gift card
We are starting off with coffee. I didn’t have a very long commute to the hospital but even 20 minutes there and back wears on you after a while. Also I was pumping every 3 hours around the clock keeping up with milk supply so I was TIRED! Coffee was that extra special treat I could pick up in the hospital food court or on the way in that would give me that extra boost for the day. And that NICU mom needs that little bit of coffee sunshine to brighten her day or just to feel normal again!
2 – Food court gift cards
Our hospital was lucky enough to have things like Starbucks, Qdoba, and Zoup on campus so we had those things quite a lot. If you’re a NICU mom specifically request those food spots nearby so you can grab some food while you’re there so you don’t have to think about dinner or lunch during your already busy day.
3 – Doordash or Mealtrain
My mom set up a mealtrain for us even before our NICU stay (I was in the hospital for 5 weeks before delivery) and it absolutely saved my life. My family and I had meals 3 times a week for almost 4 months. Every slot was filled up because people want to help and this is a great way to do that! Even ask someone else to set it up so you don’t have to do it yourself. There is an option for sending food gift cards or doordash with it as well if you can’t deliver a homemade meal!
4 – Gas Card
Like I said our commute wasn’t crazy because I know some people travel very far to see their tiny babies but gas station gift cards were an incredible gift. I’m not kidding when people ask what to get you just say gas cards! We are still using ours up but they have been such a blessing.
5 – Small Blanket
There’s a specific reason to NICU parents for this one. That first time you can hold your premature baby is one of the greatest gifts. They’ll most likely be doing skin to skin and a small soft blanket that they can keep at the hospital just for these moments is the perfect gift. Someone randomly gave me on just when I needed it and it was this 3×3 foot size blanket that seems like a strangely small size but it was our skin to skin cuddle blanket and it was perfect.
6 – Long Phone Charger
Sometimes I would sit in the NICU and cuddle my baby in the quiet and look up everything on my phone or respond to everyone because I was finally sitting or make all the phone calls. Also the hospital wifi sucks so my phone battery would run out so fast. Get her that super long 10 foot charger that she can keep at the hospital!
7 – Button Front or Scoop Neck Tshirt
Along with skin to skin you are going to need at low cut shirt or button front shirt you can scoot your baby in so you can get those close cuddles in. I didn’t realize I had nothing of that criteria! I went out and bought myself some vneck stretchy shirts so I didn’t have to change into a gown while I was at the hospital. Also make sure they are tshirts because you can’t have long sleeves in the NICU!
8 – Monthly Milestone Markers
We celebrated months one and two while at the hospital and we wanted to make sure it was as normal as it could be! I for sure took those monthly pictures along with the cute wooden signs to go along with it. I want to remember how much he has grown! Those milestone markers would be the perfect gift for a NICU mom to make her feel like she has a little bit of normalcy left.
9 – Preemie Clothes
Another huge accomplishment in the NICU is when your baby can finally wear clothes. It seemed like an eternity but when it finally happened I couldn’t wait to do the world’s smallest loads of laundry and fold those tiny onesies and take them back and for to the hospital. Grab that NICU mom a couple of even hand me down preemie size clothing so she can finally dress her babe! All of my clothing was gifted to me and it was so special!
*look for snap front or 2-way zipper pajamas
10 – An Encouraging Text (with no need for reply!)
I realize this isn’t a tangible gift but this is what kept me going. Sending a text saying “I’m praying for you today” or “you are doing an amazing job” or “hang in there mama” was all I needed. And don’t expect a reply because there is so much going through her mind right now sometimes even texting people back is a chore! Man I’m tearing up just remembering some of these sweet messages I got from family members, random friends, or even strangers that had gone through a similar situation that reached out to me! It was the best gift I could have gotten.
That’s my top 10 things that were most useful for me during our long NICU stay. Every kind gesture absolutely made my day. Especially those texts. If you’re considering reaching out just do it! It makes all the difference. I hope this is helpful to someone going through this now to help give ideas to other people when they constantly as “what can I do to help” or to those looking to help a dear friend going through this struggle right now.
And as a side note I do have some quick things of what not to give! I was so grateful for everything but when so many people are reaching out you’re bound to get many duplicates! So just a few things to avoid: chapstick, lotion, comfy socks, mama tshirts, lovey’s, baby hats, and books for her. I just had so many of these things and as sweet as they are I had enough already! If you don’t know what to give stick with a gift card or a text!
